Cramer Tonight

The infallibility of the "geniuses" -- the really, really smart, on Wall Street.

This segment of Mad Money pokes at the lack of transparancy of the Private Equity funds which have no accounting transparancy. "Private Equity" is important because it assembles money and is secret because there are no reporting requirements (until they go public, as Blackstone has). What follows is Cramer's words:

They are all superhuman geniuses with flatulence that smells like rose petals. Too smart to do anything stupid. Blackstone and Fortress Group (FIG). The Smartest Private Equity Guys in the World. Only Kryptonite can defeat them. Even though they make billions more than you or I...



Billions more than the whole country of China in 2006. Without (much) tax.


Fortress ceo is a "particularly nice guy." Would rather have a beer with him than own his stock. How do you put a value on this? (Genius you'd like to have a beer with)

The test: How close could I stand next to genius [Steve Schwartzman] at a party?

Shwartzman is too smart to lose money.

Cerberus ( a Private Equity fund that may go public soon): who wants to own Chrysler?

When Hercules dragged Cerberus up the mountain to do odd jobs, Hercules jumped into a pot to escape being in the presence of Cerberus. [Just like Mike with the loud voice who left the house after 7 days of insulating in the attic and then morphing into the family elephant-in-the room doing other odd jobs!]

Cramer: If Cerberus were public I would sell it. When Cerberus comes calling you jump into a pot if it ever comes calling.

Incidentally, Cramer mentioned "a 63-year old" man, referring to himself. Happy Birthday Jim. But are you 52 or 62?