What Dogs and Cats Write in Their Diaries

Subject: WHAT DOG'S & CAT'S WRITE IN THEIR
DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite
thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!9:40 am - A walk in the park!
My
favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00
pm -

Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite
thing!

3:00 pm
- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My
favorite thing!

7:00
pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow!
Watched TV with the
people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the
bed! My favorite
thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary... Day 983 of my
captivity...My captors
continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
fed hash or some sort of dry
nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep
up my strength.The only thing
that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
an attempt to disgust them, I once
again vomit on the carpet.Today I
decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped
this would strike fear into their hearts, since
it clearly demonstrates what
I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what
a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.There
was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and
smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
'allergies.' I must
learn what this means and how to use it to my
advantage.Today I was almost
successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving
around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at
the top of the stairs.I am convinced that the other prisoners
here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is
regularly
released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously
retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicating
with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every
move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he
is safe.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible............
Dalai Lama